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National
Poetry Competition: Press Release , 26th March 2007
National
Poetry Competition: Mike Barlow Profile
this poet
is taking part in the poetry
tREnD project
published
in The Interpreter's House, 35, 2007
A Long Loss
I
lost him overnight, somewhere
between
adolescence and the endless
re-adjustments
that come next.
I
lost him just like that and didn’t know it;
I
was miles away, oblivious,
trying
to get off with the girl downstairs.
Next
morning on the phone
I
barely recognised my mother’s voice,
hysteria
disguised as flatline calm.
I
lost him after that
each
time my mother cracked
or
a man his age shook my hand.
I
don’t remember where I was
when
news broke Kennedy was shot
but
I lost him then. Watching newsclips
of
the Prague crowds chanting
Dubcek,
Svoboda, Dubcek, Svoboda,
I
lost him when the tanks rolled in.
And
in the Registry I lost him
when
my hand shook and my wife
of
two whole minutes crossed her fingers.
I
lost him in Vietnam, the Fastnet Race,
an
earthquake in Japan. I lost him
when
my struggling son was born,
small
blue-browed apostrophe
bundled
in an incubator. I lost him
through
a long divorce, decades
of
sub-Saharan famine, hostage takers, Aids.
I
lost him when his younger sister died,
her
eighty-year-old memories worn through.
I
lost him so often I lost count:
a
misheard voice across the room,
a
corny joke, Bing Crosby on the radio.
Mike Barlow
previously
titled "Loss of Heart"
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